“DC courting is a whole lot of swinging and lacking,” says native lonelyheart Mallory Row. However this week, she lastly bought a success: After what seemed to be a particularly public request for a sugar daddy (truly, she was simply joking), Row was wined-and-dined by a (presumably loaded) gentleman who slid into her DMs.

The backstory is unusual: Final week, within the wake of the good pupil mortgage rapture of 2022, nightlife blogger Barred in DC polled his Twitter followers about whether or not they certified for Biden’s plan. One of many choices—the attractive “No–too excessive earnings”—caught Row’s eye. To get DQed from mortgage forgiveness, an eligible bachelor must earn over $125,000 per yr. 

Row, a 30-year-old authorities contractor at NOAA, replied: “for those who answered ‘no – earnings too excessive’ HIT ME UP.” Barred in DC then retweeted it to his 40,000 followers, a few of whom are single, heterosexual males. 

for those who answered “no – earnings too excessive” HIT ME UP 😍

— Mallory Row (@mallyrow) August 24, 2022

5 suitors slid into Row’s replies and DMs. However have been their salaries sufficiently excessive? “I type of simply assumed so,” she says. “However I didn’t straight up ask ‘How a lot do you make?’ after which, like, lower them off if it was below a sure earnings.”

Because it seems, location is a better precedence than wealth—which proved to be the downfall of a number of Romeos within the replies. One man she briefly chatted with turned out to stay in Virginia—”all the best way out in Dunn Loring,” she says, “in order that’s gonna be a no.” One other man lived in Richmond, so she didn’t even reply. 

However one fortunate respondent—a bona fide DC resident—wrote that he’d seen her tweet, throwing in an upside-down smiley face to decrease the stakes. The pair DMed for days earlier than assembly Monday night in Mount Vernon Triangle for a date that he deliberate: drinks at Bavarian bar Prost, adopted by dinner at Mexican restaurant dLeña. (dLeña is “undoubtedly a robust selection for the too excessive earnings dude to show that he wasn’t mendacity,” Barred in DC wrote Washingtonian in a DM.) 

“Dialog was nice—numerous laughs,” Row says of their date. However one gesture stood out: “He requested me at dinner what I used to be serious about getting, and when the waiter got here by, he ordered it for me.” Row describes this habits as “new and completely different,” however she didn’t hate it.

So, did Mallory Row discover the deep-pocketed man of her goals on Twitter? Nicely, perhaps. She didn’t ask about his earnings or his pupil mortgage stability (doubtlessly hefty?), however he’s a guide, and he did pay for dinner, so there’s that. Truly, Row says, the cash was by no means essential. What she’s actually after is love: her date struck her as “real” and “lively in DC.” He volunteers at his church, Row says, and “he has a whole lot of pursuits in addition to simply going out to eat and getting drinks.”

Shared values! Excessive earnings! Curiosity past the epicurean sphere! Barred in DC seems to have spawned an unstoppable pair. Within the “cesspool that’s Twitter,” he says, he “by no means anticipated a ballot query—not to mention a ballot selection—to result in matchmaking.” 

Row and her new beau are discussing a second date. And whereas many ladies may want to quarantine their DMs from lovesick dudes, Row is glad that her humorous tweet emboldened those who reached out. Her recommendation for the District’s singles? “You simply by no means know what’s on the market. And for those who really feel like taking pictures your shot, shoot your shot.”